Tuesday, May 17, 2011

[common friends] Parsi names


A well-written piece, though writer not mentioned :



While most surnames in India reflect caste and lineage, the Parsis had a delightfully modern streak - having landed without caste, history and context, they created identities through professions and urban streets.

Our Sikh family moved to Bombay (now Mumbai) from Rawalpindi in 1947. We came as refugees but the family soon settled and by 1953 my father had restarted
playing golf at the Willingdon Club. I was eight years old and would walk 18 holes with him every Saturday and Sunday. The three Parsi gentlemen who made
up his regular four-ball were "uncles" Poonawala, Coorlawala and Colabawala. Very soon they had re-christened my father Pindiwala.

Uncle Colabawala did not live in Colaba but in a penthouse on Malabar Hill. Maybe his ancestors had lived in Colaba. I used to spend hours searching the telephone directory to find Parsi surnames and building up stories around their families.

There was prohibition in Bombay those days. So to get liquor you had to find Mr Dalal, who would introduce you to Mr Daruwala, who in turn would get bottles delivered to your home by Mr Batliwala who would be accompanied by Mr Sodawaterbottleopenerwalla (the longest Parsi surname I have come across).

Other surnames whose ancestors were in the beverages trade were Mr Fountainwala, Mr Ginwala, Mr Rumwala, Mr Sodawala and Mr Jhunjhunwala.

We used to have two delightful Siamese kittens in our flat and these were gifted to my mother by her friend Mrs Billimoria. My mother spent hours knitting cardigans for them, with wool she bought from the Unwala family.

My uncle ran the air force canteen in Cotton Green and his partner, yes, you guessed it, was Mr Canteenwala. They had this fantastic cook, Mr Bhajiwala. Their mild and meek manager, Mr Jeejeebhoy, nodded his head and agreed with everything everybody said.

My grandfather was the Sheriff of Bombay. I think the first and only Sikh to hold this position. Being Sheriff it was only natural that he had Mr Bandookwala and Mr Golimarwala as his constant companions.

Grandfather had many Parsi friends who were in politics. There was this squeaky clean khadi-clad Mr Ghandy, and the not so clean Mr Kalaghandy - who was invariably being hounded by Mr Kotwal. But he never left home without his "friends" Mr Barrister, Mr Vakil, Mr Lawyer and their munshi Mr Mehnty.

My grandfather built Hotel Waldorf on Arthur Bunder Road in Colaba. So for this he naturally used the services of Mr Contractor and Mr Mistry. He never went to the "native" moneylenders when short of money, but borrowed it from his Parsi friend Mr Readymoney.

Our neighbour and family physician was Dr Adi Doctor - he was only half a doctor. He lived with his in laws Mr and Mrs Pochkhanawala. My sister swears they ate only poached eggs for breakfast.

I remember going to Dr Doctor's sister's wedding. She married Mr Screwala. What he did for a living, I do not know to this day. If you are in Mumbai maybe you can track him down in the yellow or pink pages.

The Parsis have taught us that if you take serious interest in satire, you can change the world! My name today is Comedymanifestowalla!


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Comments made in the year 1955! .....Interesting








Comments made in the year 1955!

I'll tell you one thing, if things

keep going the way they are,
it's going to be impossible to
buy a week's groceries for $10.00. <Image.jpg>







Have you seen the new cars
coming out next year? It won't
be long before $1,000.00 will
only buy a used one.


<Image.jpg>








If cigarettes keep going up in
price, I'm going to quit; 20 cents
a pack is ridiculous.
<Image.jpg>







Did you hear the post office is
thinking about charging 7 cents
just to mail a letter.
<Image.jpg>







If they raise the minimum wage
to $1.00, nobody will be able to
hire outside help at the store.
<Image.jpg>







When I first started driving, who
would have thought gas would
someday cost 25 cents a gallon.
Guess we'd be better off leaving
the car in the garage.
<Image.jpg>







I'm afraid to send my kids to the
movies any more. Ever since they
let Clark Gable get by with saying
DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND,
it seems every new movie has
either HELL or DAMN in it.
<Image.jpg>








I read the other day where some
scientist thinks it's possible to put
a man on the moon by the end of
the century. They even have some
fellows they call astronauts
preparing for it down in Texas .
<Image.jpg>







Did you see where some baseball
player just signed a contract for
$50,000 a year just to play ball?
It wouldn't surprise me if someday
they'll be making more than the
President.
<Image.jpg>







I never thought I'd see the day
all our kitchen appliances would
be electric. They're even making
electric typewriters now.
<Image.jpg>







It's too bad things are so tough
nowadays. I see where a few
married women are having to
work to make ends meet.
<Image.jpg>







It won't be long before young
couples are going to have to hire
someone to watch their kids so
they can both work.
<Image.jpg>







I'm afraid the Volkswagen car
is going to open the door to a
whole lot of foreign business.
<Image.jpg>







Thank goodness I won't live to
see the day when the Government
takes half our income in taxes. I
sometimes wonder if we are
electing the best people to
government.
<Image.jpg>








The fast food restaurant is
convenient for a quick meal,
but I seriously doubt they
will ever catch on.
<Image.jpg>







There is no sense going on short
trips anymore for a weekend. It
costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay
in a hotel.


<Image.jpg>







No one can afford to be sick
anymore. At $15.00 a day in
the hospital, it's too rich for
my blood.
<Image.jpg>








If they think I'll pay 30 cents
for a haircut, forget it.


Sunday, May 08, 2011

CONTRADICTION OF THE WORDS UNITE TO-GETHER WHAT DO YOU HAVE? DINESH VORA







CONTRADICTION OF THE WORDS UNITE TO-GETHER
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
DINESH VORA


(1) Clearly Misunderstood

(2) Exact Estimate

(3) Small Crowd

(4) Act Naturally

(5) Found Missing

(6) Fully Empty

(7) Pretty Ugly

(8) Seriously Funny

(9) Only Choice

(10) Original Copies


(11) Happily Married
























Thursday, April 14, 2011

This Simple Dietary Principle Rapidly Sheds Fat and Weight [1 Attachment]














How a Simple Dietary Principle
Sheds Fat and Weight Rapidly








Did You Know...

Shedding Fat... that implementing a simple dietary principle called food separation can cause your body to automatically and rapidly shed fat and weight -- without your having to change what (and how much) you eat?

If you're trying to lose fat, the first and most important thing you can do is expand your thinking beyond low fat foods and calorie counting. Of course the types of foods you eat do matter, but it's the combination of foods you're eating that matters even more. Understanding and practicing proper food separation is far more effective than "dieting," which simply doesn't work to keep pounds off permanently.







"You can initially lose 5 to 10% of your weight on any number of diets, but then the weight comes back," said Traci Mann, UCLA associate professor of psychology and lead author of the large-scale dieting study published in American Psychologist, the journal of the American Psychological Association. "We found that the majority of people regained all the weight, plus more. Sustained weight loss was found only in a small minority of participants, while complete weight regain was found in the majority. Diets do not lead to sustained weight loss or health benefits for the majority of people."


Food separation is based on the principle that some foods simply cannot be digested properly when eaten together in the same meal -- and consuming them together impedes your efforts to shed weight. It also depletes your energy and damages your body. You can build up tolerance to eating incompatible food combinations -- and most of us have. But over time our bodies pay a price.

With the food separation method, you eat the right foods at the right times for optimal digestion and a fast metabolism. The benefits of proper food separation include better digestion, energy boost, faster metabolism,permanent fat loss, and an increased sense of well-being.


This May be the Reason Why
You've Failed to Get Rid of Your Excess Fat


The fundamentals behind food separation are simple. Digestion is the result of chemical reactions that occur when our bodies break down food and absorb nutrients. Many popular diet systems -- such as the Atkins Diet and the Zone Diet -- don't account for the synergy of macronutrients during the digestive process.

To boost your metabolism and ensure that your body is digesting food as efficiently and healthfully as possible, simply follow these two cardinal rules:

1) Eat carbohydrates only with other carbohydrates -- NEVER with proteins and fats.

2) Eat proteins and fats together with no carbohydrates. (The only carbs that are acceptable to consume with proteins and fats are greens and non-starchy vegetables or low-fat carbohydrates.)

Protein foods -- meat, chicken, fish, eggs, and nuts -- need an acidic digestive environment. Carbohydrates like bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes need an alkaline base for digestion. Acids and alkalines neutralize each other when mixed, which is what happens when you eat proteins and carbs together -- and neither are well digested. Instead, they decompose and putrefy in the gut, leading to weight gain and poor health.

A survey done in the United States found an average of 5 pounds of undigested food in the stomachs of the study participants. So is it any wonder that incomplete digestion and inefficient metabolism are the prime causes of fat accumulation?

Additionally, if you're not using the food separation method, you're not capitalizing on the natural fat-burning propensity of food -- and you're putting yourself at risk for a host of digestive disorders such as gas, heartburn, cramps, bloating, constipation, foul stools, bleeding hemorrhoids, colitis -- and even colon cancer.


It may be challenging to shift your thinking away from the meat-and-potatoes mindset. But the results you'll see will speak for themselves.

The best way to eat to optimize digestion with the food separation method is to eat small, food-separated meals every 2 to 3 hours. Because carbohydrates break down quickly and proteins spend more time in the digestive tract, it's important to alternate between protein and carbs with your mini-meals.

When your body adapts to this schedule, it will begin to metabolize carbohydrates and proteins in a seamless relay. Your highly efficient metabolism will . . .







Burn fat all the time (even when you're sedentary or
not engaging in physical activity)

Automatically shed weight and keep it off

Boost your energy

Promote general good health

Eliminate waste more efficiently





Effective food separation means letting go of comfortable -- but mismatched -- food combinations such as fruits and cereals, steak and potatoes or hamburgers on buns. If you're already working to shave some inches off your waist, you'll be amazed at the difference this simple system makes.


Not Just for Shedding Weight ...
but also for Health Enhancement!


Even if you are not interested in dropping excess weight, there's no reason not to incorporate the food separation system into your life. It instantly reduces stress on your digestive glands and will actually improve your body's ability to eliminate waste and absorb nutrients.

As Dr. William Howard Hay, one of the pioneers of food separation, said of his own conversion to the system, "If a man is a composite of what goes into him daily in the form of nourishment, then what is the use of drugging him or cutting him for the results of wrong feeding habits? It is much more to the point to change the wrong habits and let Nature perform the cure, as nature alone is able to do."

























1 of 1 File(s)

Thursday, April 07, 2011

25 paise coins will cease to exist [1 Attachment]





The Government of India has decided to withdraw the coins of denomination of 25 paise and below from circulation with effect from June 30, 2011.
From this date, these coins shall cease to be legal tender for payment as well as on account.

Members of public can exchange small denomination coins at any branch of banks specified by RBI. Exchange facility will also be available at all Issue Offices of the RBI. The coins will be exchanged at the branches of these banks/offices of the RBI till the close of business on June 30, 2011.

RBI press release attached.


1 of 1 File(s)


Wednesday, March 09, 2011

BAKWAAS BANDH KAR Read at your own risk


















rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi......... ......... ......... ......... ......

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do









BRUCE LEE
was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?

Because he became


MAMU LEE!









sharma and Verma r discussing-- -------
sharma ----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Verma ----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."









One day Ravan went to a disco....... ......... ......... ..

aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............ .......

kyun???????? ????????? ??

kyun???????? ??????










bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"









who made Ganesh to Anesh...????






ThinK......








Think......


























okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....









Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????




Think....... ......




Give up??






Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."
(Inzamam-ul-HAQ)










Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.........
........
..........

Keep Guessing.... ..
........
........
........

Chalo yaar....the answer is














"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai









if a CAT crosses ur way,

when u are going some where,
then what does it mean????????


?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????



?????????



????????? ?



?





?





?


it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.









AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE


Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"


Socho




















Thoda sur Socho







Socho Socho....










Nahi Aata











Bcoz








Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)



__._,_.___

Sunday, February 20, 2011

What I want in a Man, Original List




What I want in a Man, Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises




What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)


1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)


1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)


1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5.. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6.. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends




What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)



1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6.. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend



What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)



1. BREATHING

2. DOESN'T MISS THE TOILET




KEEP READING, THERE'S MORE BELOW




AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A

CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID,

"Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT,

A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED
A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP
EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR,
NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING
WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT
YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."



MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD
ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL,
AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE
AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING
A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING
A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.



AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW
HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.

Friday, February 04, 2011

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण








1.
सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.

3.
नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.

4.
अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.
5.
हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक यु का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.

6.
नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.

7.
भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.

8.
सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.

9.
महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और व??रू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Mobile-number-portability-a-great-idea-sirji

Here are the steps to port your mobile number to another service provider.

1. First, you need to generate UPC (Unique Porting Code).

This can be done by sending an SMS to 1900.

The SMS should be in this format: PORT Eg: PORT <99XXXXXXXX>.

This should be sent to 1900

Operator SMS charge will be applicable.

PM to flag off nationwide roll-out of MNP on Jan 20
2. In reply, you will receive a UPC (Unique Porting Code) as SMS from 1901.

The UPC will be an 8 digit alpha-numeric code. You will also receive
the date till when the UPC will remain valid in the MM/DD/YYYY format.

3. Send the UPC to the service number of the mobile operator you wish
to switch to, through an SMS, if such a number is available.

You can confirm by visiting the operator's website. Else, visit the
nearest outlet/showroom of the operator you want to migrate to with
your UPC in hand.

4. Some service providers charge a nominal fee for the process, while
others like BSNL have advertised free porting.

5. You will also have to fill and submit the prescribed Mobile Number
Portability form to the new operator. They could also ask you to
submit documents (like photo ID and address proof). Post-paid
subscribers will be asked to submit a copy of their latest bill too.

6. Your request could be denied if any of these factors apply:

You have an unpaid bill on your existing postpaid mobile number.
Pending request for change of ownership of the concerned Mobile Number
The mobile number is under contractual obligation
90 Days has not lapsed since number activation
90 Days has not lapsed since last Porting Request from the same Mobile Number
You have applied for inter-circle porting
There is a pending legal case against your mobile number
7. The number portability has to be completed within 7 working days as
per process mandated by DoT. You will also receive an SMS mentioning
the time and date for porting.

8. Once the switch is complete, you will receive another SMS from the
new operator.

Your mobile phone may go 'dead' for 120 minutes, the time when the
porting takes place. At the end of it, your migration to your new
operator should be complete.

9. One thing you must keep in mind - You can change your operator only
once in every 90 days. So, use the service with care






Wednesday, January 05, 2011

A young boy

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer,



"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a five rupee coin and 2 in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,

"Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of

the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied,

"Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER

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Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself