WhatsApp best practices -4

Exit and delete groups which are not important for you. You will see you get lots of personal time back to spend. You need not be part of every group created by everyone in your contact list.

School exam daya

Do you still remember those awkward days in schools during Exams ?

When a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem, but you have already answered it...😳😜

When a fellow student asks for a graph paper, but you are finished and did not see anywhere where it was required...😧 😁😁

When the invigilator says jump question 6 we will rectify it later, but it was the question you enjoyed most when answering...😟 😱😲

When you see people busy using rulers and you are wondering what is going on...😣😫😫

When you hear your friends arguing after the exam whether the answer to question 5 was 35.5% or 36.5% and your answer was 1800 😩😏

The cream. When the other students asked for 4-5 additional answer sheets and You had two pages empty in the main answer sheet😨😰😱

See where you have reached in life inspite of those moments...things are not permanent...enjoy life! 😃😃

Only for those who enjoyed their school life😂😂😂

WhatsApp best practices-2

Please never be in hurry to forward long messages which even you have not read. People have sent it to you, please read & digest first and think your list does need that message? Frequent forward will make them ignore even your valuable messages.

WhatsApp best practices-3

WhatsApp best practices:
Ashwin®

3. Don't get angry when your friend send you back the same forward which you had sent it to him. It's possible he had not even seen your forward, he may be taking you less seriously than you think. And he might have got it from many people or.group. And that forward was never your original creation.

Murphy's First Law

*Murphy's First Law:*
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

*Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:*
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your absence is noticed.

*The Salary Axiom:*
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

*Miller's Law of Insurance:*
Insurance covers everything except what happens.

*First Law of Living:*
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

*Weiner's Law of Libraries:*
There are no answers, only cross-references.

*Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:*
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

*The Grocery Bag Law:*
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

And Here goes the last one !!

*Lampner's Law of Employment:*
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot !

WhatsApp best practices: -Ashwin

1. Always write something about video you forwarding. It is possible someone else already forwarded & they have already seen it. You will save lots of data and time of others.

Age makes things irrelevant

● At age 40 years,
"highly educated"
and  "less educated"
are the same.

(Less educated people may even earn more money)

● At age 50 years,
"beauty" and "ugly" are the same.

(No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots,
etc. can no more be hidden.)

● At age 60 years,
"high position"
and
"low position"
are the same.

(After retirement,
even a peon will avoid looking at his boss)

● At age 70 years,
"big house" and "small house" are the same.
(Joints degeneration, hard to move,
only require a little space to sit )

● At age 80 years,
"have money" and "no money" are the same.
(Even when you want to spend money,
you don't know where to spend)

● At age 90 years,
"Sleeping" and "waking up" are the same.

(After you wake up,
you still don't know what to do)
Take life easy,
there are no mysteries to be solved. 

In the long run,
we'll all be the same.

So forget all tensions of
life & enjoy..

Keep Smiling😊😊

YES, I AM CHANGING!

YES, I AM CHANGING!

Days slip into weeks, weeks turn into months and months transform into years. Calendars are changing and so am I.

Yes, I  am changing. After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I have started loving myself.

Yes, I  am changing. I just realised that I am not “ Atlas ” and the world does not rest on my shoulders.

Yes, I  am changing. I now stopped bargaining with poor vegetables and fruits vendors. After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

Yes, I  am changing. I pay the autowalla / cabbie and walk away without waiting for the change.The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me.

Yes, I  am changing. I stopped telling the elderly that they have already narrated that story many times. After  all, the story makes them walk down the memory lane and relive the past.

Yes, I  am changing. I have learnt not to correct  people even when I know they are wrong. After all, the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.

Yes, I  am changing.  I give compliments freely and generously. After all its  a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me.

Yes, I  am changing. I have learnt not to bother about a crease on my shirt or a spot on my skirt. After all, personality speaks louder than appearances.

Yes, I  am changing. I walk  away from people who don't value me. After all, they might not know my worth, but I do.

Yes, I  am changing. I remain cool when someone plays dirty politics to outrun me in the rat race.After all, I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.

Yes, I  am changing. I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. After all, it's my emotions that make me human.

Yes, I  am changing. I have learnt that its better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. After all, my ego will keep me aloof whereas with relationships I will never be alone.

Yes, I  am changing. I demand  for whatever  is due to me. After all, accepting injustice is almost as bad as doing injustice.

Yes, I  am changing. I've learnt to live each day as if it were the last. After all, it might be the last .

Yes, I  am changing. I am doing what makes me happy. After all, I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to me.

AND I'M LOVING THE NEW ME

सच मे, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं... - गुलज़ार

गुलज़ार द्वारा लिखी किताब *_The longest short story of my life with grace_*जो उन्होंने *"राखी"*को समर्पित की है से  एक अंश...

लोग सच कहते हैं -
औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं है...

रात भर पूरा सोती नहीं
थोड़ा थोड़ा जागती रहतीं है
नींद की स्याही में
उंगलियां डुबो कर
दिन की बही लिखतीं
टटोलती रहतीं है
दरवाजों की कुंडियाॅ
बच्चों की चादर
पति का मन...
और जब जागती हैं सुबह
तो पूरा नहीं जागती
नींद में ही भागतीं है

सच है, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं...

हवा की तरह घूमतीं, कभी घर में, कभी बाहर...
टिफिन में रोज़ नयी रखतीं कविताएँ
गमलों में रोज बो देती आशाऐं

पुराने अजीब से गाने गुनगुनातीं
और चल देतीं फिर
एक नये दिन के मुकाबिल
पहन कर फिर वही सीमायें
खुद से दूर हो कर भी
सब के करीब होतीं हैं

औरतें सच में, बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं

कभी कोई ख्वाब पूरा नहीं देखतीं
बीच में ही छोड़ कर देखने लगतीं हैं
चुल्हे पे चढ़ा दूध...

कभी कोई काम पूरा नहीं करतीं
बीच में ही छोड़ कर ढूँढने लगतीं हैं
बच्चों के मोजे, पेन्सिल, किताब
बचपन में खोई गुडिया,
जवानी में खोए पलाश,

मायके में छूट गयी स्टापू की गोटी,
छिपन-छिपाई के ठिकाने
वो छोटी बहन छिप के कहीं रोती...

सहेलियों से लिए-दिये...
या चुकाए गए हिसाब
बच्चों के मोजे, पेन्सिल किताब

खोलती बंद करती खिड़कियाँ
क्या कर रही हो?
सो गयी क्या ?
खाती रहती झिङकियाँ

न शौक से जीती है ,
न ठीक से मरती है
सच है, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं ।

कितनी बार देखी है...
मेकअप लगाये,
चेहरे के नील छिपाए
वो कांस्टेबल लडकी,
वो ब्यूटीशियन,
वो भाभी, वो दीदी...

चप्पल के टूटे स्ट्रैप को
साड़ी के फाल से छिपाती
वो अनुशासन प्रिय टीचर
और कभी दिख ही जाती है
कॉरीडोर में, जल्दी जल्दी चलती,
नाखूनों से सूखा आटा झाडते,

सुबह जल्दी में नहाई
अस्पताल मे आई वो लेडी डॉक्टर
दिन अक्सर गुजरता है शहादत में
रात फिर से सलीब होती है...

सच है, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं

सूखे मौसम में बारिशों को
याद कर के रोतीं हैं
उम्र भर हथेलियों में
तितलियां संजोतीं हैं

और जब एक दिन
बूंदें सचमुच बरस जातीं हैं
हवाएँ सचमुच गुनगुनाती हैं
फिजाएं सचमुच खिलखिलातीं हैं

तो ये सूखे कपड़ों, अचार, पापड़
बच्चों और सारी दुनिया को
भीगने से बचाने को दौड़ जातीं हैं...

सच है, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं ।

खुशी के एक आश्वासन पर
पूरा पूरा जीवन काट देतीं है
अनगिनत खाईयों को
अनगिनत पुलो से पाट देतीं है...

सच है, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं ।

ऐसा कोई करता है क्या?
रस्मों के पहाड़ों, जंगलों में
नदी की तरह बहती...
कोंपल की तरह फूटती...

जिन्दगी की आँख से
दिन रात इस तरह
और कोई झरता है क्या?
ऐसा कोई करता है क्या?

सच मे, औरतें बेहद अजीब होतीं हैं...

- गुलज़ार

(हमारे जीवन में ख़ुशी, समर्पण और प्रेम बरसाने वाली हर महिलाओं को सादर समर्पित)

Corporate rules for happy life:

1. Trust nobody.

2. What happens in office, remain in office. Never take office gossips to home and vice versa.

3. Enter office on time, leave on time. Your desktop is not helping improvement in your health.

4. Never make GF/BF and/or brother/sister in office. It will always backfire.

5. Expect nothing. If somebody helps, feel thankful. If not, you will learn to know things on your own.

6. Never rush for position. If you get promoted, congrats. If not, it doesn't matter. You will always be remembered for your knowledge and politeness, not for your designation.

7. Never run behind office stuff. You have better things to do in life.

8. Avoid taking everything on your ego. Your salary matters. You are being paid. Use your assets to get happiness.

9. It doesn't matter how people treat you. Be humble. You are not everyone's cup of tea.

10. In the end nothing matters except family, friends, home, and Inner peace.

Don’t wait for the parrot to die

The story is told of a woman who bought a parrot to keep her company, but she returned it the next day.

“This bird doesn't talk,” she told the owner.

”Does he have a mirror in his cage?” he asked. “Parrots love mirrors. They see their reflection and start a conversation.”

The woman bought a mirror and left. The next day she returned; the bird still wasn't talking.

"How about a ladder? Parrots love ladders.The happy parrot is a talkative parrot.”

The woman bought a ladder and left. But the next day, she was back.

“Does your parrot have a swing? No? Well, that’s the problem. Once he starts swinging, he’ll talk up a storm.”

The woman reluctantly bought a swing and left.
When she walked into the store the next day, her countenance had changed.

“The parrot died,” she said.

The pet store owner was shocked.

“I’m so sorry. Tell me, did he ever say anything?” he asked.

“Yes, right before it died,” the  replied.

“In a weak voice, it asked me, ‘Don’t they sell any food at that pet store?’"

Sometimes we forget what’s really important in life. We get so caught up in things that are good while neglecting the things that are truly necessary.

Take a moment to do a “priority check”, and strive for what is most important today.

Don’t wait for the parrot to die...!!

Investment Philosophy

Few takeaways from Howard Marks (for those who missed it) 

Investment Philosophy

1. No one can consistently forecast. Our industry is full of people who became famous by getting it right once. Investors would be wise to accept that they can't see the future and restrict themselves to doing things that are within their control. While we can't see where we are going, we ought to have a good sense of where we are. 

2. Superior results don't come from buying the  right asset , but from buying assets at less than their worth. Investing is not about what you buy, but what you pay.

3.Sometimes there are plentiful opportunities for unusual returns, wait patiently for such opportunities. Big gains come when consensus underestimates reality. Be aggressive at bottoms, defensive at highs. Key to outperformance is to think different, and to think better. Superior returns come not from being right, but being right more than others. 

4.Over the last few years, investor timeframes have shrunk, obsessed with quarterly returns. Advantage is to be right in the long run.

5. It is essential to invest counter-cyclically. Cyclical up's and down's don't go on forever,  but at extremes most act as if they will. Markets are riskiest when there is widespread belief there is no risk, this was the case in 2007.  

6. Markets are not always 100% efficient, the concept of market efficiency must not be ignored. It cannot be assumed that bargains  in the past, will be repeated in the future.

7. To be a successful investor, you have to have a philosophy and stick to it even under pressure. No one can profit from all opportunities. To be a disciplined investor, you have to be willing to stand by and watch others make money. 

8. Risk is inescapable in investment, but you should not expect more money, just by taking on more risk. Risk needs to be controlled but not through quantification, experienced qualitative judgement is better. Investment cannot be reduced to an algorithm or mechanical process. 

9. Good performance will result in inflows, but if inflows are not checked it may lead to bad performance. 

10. Slope of trend is important, but investments should not be based on forecasts or timing the market.

Vagaries of English Language!

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!😀😀😀

- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

- How do you get off a non-stop
Flight?

- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

- Why is it called
'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

- How come Noses run and Feet smell?

- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

We can never find the answers, can we?
So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!! 😥😥

Mahabharata Philosophy

I just read something interesting... So sharing...

Enjoy introspecting....

It is said in the texts that 80% of the fighting male population of the civilization was wiped out in the eighteen days Mahabharata war.

Sanjay, at the end of the war went to the spot where the greatest war took place; Kurukshetra.

He looked around and wondered if the war really happened, if the ground beneath him had soaked all that blood, if the great Pandavas and Krishna stood where he stood.

“You will never know the truth about that!” said an aging soft voice.

Sanjay turned around to find an Old man in saffron robes appearing out of a column of dust.

“I know you are here to find out about the Kurukshetra war, but *you cannot know about that war till you know what the real war is about*.” the Old man said enigmatically.

“What do you mean?”

*The Mahabharata is an Epic, a ballad, perhaps a reality, but definitely a philosophy*.

The Old man smiled luring Sanjay into more questions.

“Can you tell me what the philosophy is then?”
Sanjay requested.

Sure, began the Old man.

*The Pandavas are nothing but your five senses*,
sight,
smell,
taste,
touch
and sound...,

and do you know what the *Kauravas* are?
he asked narrowing his eyes.

*The Kauravas are the hundred vices that attack your senses everyday but you can fight them*... and do you know how?

Sanjay shook his head again.

“When Krishna rides your chariot!”

The Old man smiled brighter and Sanjay gasped at that gem of insight.

*Krishna is your inner voice, your soul, your guiding light and if you let your life in his hands you have nothing to worry*.

Sanjay was stupefied but came around quickly with another question.

“Then *why are Dronacharya and Bhishma fighting for the Kauravas, if they are vices*?”

The Old man nodded, sadder for the question.

It just means that as you grow up, your perception of your elders change. *The elders who you thought were perfect in your growing up years are not all that perfect. They have faults. And one day you will have to decide if they are for your good or your bad.  Then you may also realize that you may have to fight them for the good. It is the hardest part of growing up and that is why the Geeta is important*.

Sanjay slumped down on the ground, not because he was tired but because he could understand and was struck by  the enormity of it all.

*What about Karna*? he whispered.

“Ah!” said the Old man. “You have saved the best for last. *Karna is the brother to your senses, he is desire, he is a part of you but stands with the vices. He feels wronged and makes excuses for being with the vices as your desire does all the time.*

*Does your desire not give you excuses to embrace vices*?”

Sanjay nodded silently. He looked at the ground, consumed with a million thoughts, trying to putin everything together and then when he looked up the Old man was gone....
disappeared in the column of dust.........leaving behind the great philosophy of Life!  
🙏🙏🙏🙏

New era teacher's letter to parent

Classic...

Now a days teachers are not allowed to say or write anything negative... A few interesting letters from teachers to get around this....... I loved every one of them😉
.

Dear Parent,
We are delighted to inform you that your child displays remarkable initiative. Not for him the simple-minded obedience to teachers. We refer to his admirable refusal to do homework. We have, however, humbly requested him to stoop to our level and condescend to do his homework. Your support is appreciated.
Yours anxiously,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your child's distaste for mundane subjects such as mathematics shows an imaginative mind. Why, he wonders, does the square of the hypotenuse have to be equal to the square of the other two sides in a right-angled triangle? It is no wonder that he has scored a splendid zero in his math exam. Unfortunately, even brilliant students have to pass exams. Could you gently break that news to him?
Yours entreatingly,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
We are pleased your child has one of the same qualities that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, possessed. Like him, your son believes that history is bunk. But it may be best to disabuse him of the notion that the Mughal emperors were Amar, Akbar and Anthony.
Yours beseechingly,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your child submitted a blank paper for last week's science test, influenced perhaps by Albert Camus who said 'Whether the earth or the sun revolves around the other is a matter of profound indifference'. Your son shares that profound indifference, undoubtedly for philosophical reasons. But could you inform him that in order to study philosophy, he has to pass class eight first?
Yours plaintively,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your son has obviously read Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil, which is why he was copying from the boy next to him during yesterday's test. Like Nietzsche, he believes that Supermen like him have little use for conventional notions of morality. The teacher who caught him copying is a conventional type who gave him a zero.
Yours desperately,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
We are impressed by your child's knowledge of martial arts. In the past month, he has broken two legs, four arms and three noses. He also shows prudence while fighting, taking care to pick on weaker boys. For some reason, however, the fathers of the boys who were beaten up are planning to go to your home with hockey sticks.
Yours wretchedly,
Teacher