Thursday, January 19, 2017

Vagaries of English Language!

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!😀😀😀

- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

- How do you get off a non-stop
Flight?

- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

- Why is it called
'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

- How come Noses run and Feet smell?

- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

We can never find the answers, can we?
So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!! 😥😥

Mahabharata Philosophy

I just read something interesting... So sharing...

Enjoy introspecting....

It is said in the texts that 80% of the fighting male population of the civilization was wiped out in the eighteen days Mahabharata war.

Sanjay, at the end of the war went to the spot where the greatest war took place; Kurukshetra.

He looked around and wondered if the war really happened, if the ground beneath him had soaked all that blood, if the great Pandavas and Krishna stood where he stood.

“You will never know the truth about that!” said an aging soft voice.

Sanjay turned around to find an Old man in saffron robes appearing out of a column of dust.

“I know you are here to find out about the Kurukshetra war, but *you cannot know about that war till you know what the real war is about*.” the Old man said enigmatically.

“What do you mean?”

*The Mahabharata is an Epic, a ballad, perhaps a reality, but definitely a philosophy*.

The Old man smiled luring Sanjay into more questions.

“Can you tell me what the philosophy is then?”
Sanjay requested.

Sure, began the Old man.

*The Pandavas are nothing but your five senses*,
sight,
smell,
taste,
touch
and sound...,

and do you know what the *Kauravas* are?
he asked narrowing his eyes.

*The Kauravas are the hundred vices that attack your senses everyday but you can fight them*... and do you know how?

Sanjay shook his head again.

“When Krishna rides your chariot!”

The Old man smiled brighter and Sanjay gasped at that gem of insight.

*Krishna is your inner voice, your soul, your guiding light and if you let your life in his hands you have nothing to worry*.

Sanjay was stupefied but came around quickly with another question.

“Then *why are Dronacharya and Bhishma fighting for the Kauravas, if they are vices*?”

The Old man nodded, sadder for the question.

It just means that as you grow up, your perception of your elders change. *The elders who you thought were perfect in your growing up years are not all that perfect. They have faults. And one day you will have to decide if they are for your good or your bad.  Then you may also realize that you may have to fight them for the good. It is the hardest part of growing up and that is why the Geeta is important*.

Sanjay slumped down on the ground, not because he was tired but because he could understand and was struck by  the enormity of it all.

*What about Karna*? he whispered.

“Ah!” said the Old man. “You have saved the best for last. *Karna is the brother to your senses, he is desire, he is a part of you but stands with the vices. He feels wronged and makes excuses for being with the vices as your desire does all the time.*

*Does your desire not give you excuses to embrace vices*?”

Sanjay nodded silently. He looked at the ground, consumed with a million thoughts, trying to putin everything together and then when he looked up the Old man was gone....
disappeared in the column of dust.........leaving behind the great philosophy of Life!  
🙏🙏🙏🙏

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

New era teacher's letter to parent

Classic...

Now a days teachers are not allowed to say or write anything negative... A few interesting letters from teachers to get around this....... I loved every one of them😉
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Dear Parent,
We are delighted to inform you that your child displays remarkable initiative. Not for him the simple-minded obedience to teachers. We refer to his admirable refusal to do homework. We have, however, humbly requested him to stoop to our level and condescend to do his homework. Your support is appreciated.
Yours anxiously,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your child's distaste for mundane subjects such as mathematics shows an imaginative mind. Why, he wonders, does the square of the hypotenuse have to be equal to the square of the other two sides in a right-angled triangle? It is no wonder that he has scored a splendid zero in his math exam. Unfortunately, even brilliant students have to pass exams. Could you gently break that news to him?
Yours entreatingly,
Teacher


Dear Parent,
We are pleased your child has one of the same qualities that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, possessed. Like him, your son believes that history is bunk. But it may be best to disabuse him of the notion that the Mughal emperors were Amar, Akbar and Anthony.
Yours beseechingly,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your child submitted a blank paper for last week's science test, influenced perhaps by Albert Camus who said 'Whether the earth or the sun revolves around the other is a matter of profound indifference'. Your son shares that profound indifference, undoubtedly for philosophical reasons. But could you inform him that in order to study philosophy, he has to pass class eight first?
Yours plaintively,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your son has obviously read Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil, which is why he was copying from the boy next to him during yesterday's test. Like Nietzsche, he believes that Supermen like him have little use for conventional notions of morality. The teacher who caught him copying is a conventional type who gave him a zero.
Yours desperately,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
We are impressed by your child's knowledge of martial arts. In the past month, he has broken two legs, four arms and three noses. He also shows prudence while fighting, taking care to pick on weaker boys. For some reason, however, the fathers of the boys who were beaten up are planning to go to your home with hockey sticks.
Yours wretchedly,
Teacher